Imagine a tunnel. Black. No lights
There’s something in there. Hopefully good.
You can hear
whispers
And occasionally your eyes see something but
it’s
so
fleeting
Flick a torch on
high power
full beam
lumen illimunate
You see now
all its glory
colour
depth
texture
craft
Torch fades
darkness
What was
that beauty
that thought
that reassurance
Where is it
where
was it
Torch on
bright, burning fucking brilliant bright light
there it is
marvel
I waited a lifetime for this
it all makes
sense
now
Torch off
and I’m crying now
invisible tears
blank/black streaming down my face because
where has it gone
where is my light
where is my perfect understanding of everything in this tunnel
that I built
dreamed of
idolised
craved
lusted for
Pop one more tablet
torch back on
temporary
hold on, wanna grasp that beauty
wanna right it down, bottle it
wanna say to you this is everything I ever wanted
But I can’t because
it
burned out.