They say the flap of a butterfly wing causes tiny changes with such vast impacts
But when I look at this red/black flitter flutter flapper I see no echo, no ripped effect
crossing times, years, countries and space
just a dull reflection in the muddy water below me
my face bending distorted through time trust and memories
Flash back to a childhood home, a memory once encased and sealed
now silently slowly corroding and rusting without remedy
my heart beats faster then slower, easy now, easy
plant a seed, watch it die, wither
some things better left buried
There’s a ripple wind blowing right through me, wrapping itself around each bone until they ache
A constant reminder of time, of memories increasingly out of focus
looking up from the murky waters of now, through a periscope, through colours to above and the pasrt
And I’m scanning around to find you on the beach, gentle smile, hair blowing in the early summer breeze
it’s so tangible, I can, I can… I can’t
and I see scattered remnants of letters, of love, of hope, of promise
being swayed and persuaded and pushed by the winds of time
they’re in tiny pieces now, so fragmented I could never piece together the word or letters
they’re blowing in the wind now
And I turn my face back to you but you’ve nearly gone, fading until just a whisper of smoke
I blink again and you’re gone. It’s all gone.
I see only rust, broken down industrial building, nature desperately trying to cling to it, to rebuild
and I realise I have nothing to cling to
empty air in my hands
I’d make a fist but what’s the point
and that light? that gentle reminder blink<>blink<>blink?
it’s so far away now I might just be imagining it.
that if I close my eyes so hard and press on them I’ll see stars and it’s your light
But I know it isn’t, it can’t be
it’s the vast deception of my mind, a decaying grey mass I call me