There once was a wish, a yearning, a feeling of certainty of need
That, now, seems quaint, naive
And perhaps it was
Perhaps it was just me seeing through crystal, assuming a romantic invitation and being
perhaps it was a copper bracelet held dear with no reason
perhaps it was the smooth feeling of an old wooden box with broken veneer
And as I look back now at
rows of bottles with my slight sad reflection
smashed on the floor into 10,000 pieces of little anger and grief
It seems strange and farway
like I was in some far-flung country with different gradient skies
and a language I don’t know that fades into the background like an exotic hot-sky whipser
And yet in the back of all this
the tick-tick-tick-tock of an ever-speeding-up clock
a gentle reminder of time past, time now and time future, counting down not up
And I see in my mind
rows of records
tapes
posters on wall
hope
love
and the grandiose plans of my youth
And when I revisit them
sometimes in vivid rich neon full-immersion memories
sometimes in dull, no-movement, no-body around heaviness
I think
of all the inbetweens
and what happened to them
as I know
some are just dust ground into the road, trampled down into nothing but tiny particles
some dissolved into the water of my life’s journey
some blown out with candles of years past – into smoke then air then nothing
and yet
and yet
yet
still some burn brightly, fused with the fight and energy I once held true and still do.