Finally In The Middle Of The Storm I Wondered

With strong hesitation and a feeling of rumbling melancholy

seeking forgiveness but also solitude in the grey expanse of the heavens

Whiplash gravel rain beating into me

and when that stopped, well there was

wind into sand into my eyes into my burrowing away soul

grating and chafing away at the small residual part of me

clinging on in the wind

literally but also clinging on to some

semblance of sanity and reality

And the knowing I have one train only

and yet I’m stood there longing for you, looking out at

the black of sea into black of sky

and wondering how long it would be for I sighed and just melted into the water into sky into dark

into nothing

And I could hear those waves – can hear them now

beating with sheer aggression at the shore

unseen in black, maybe a glimmer of dark-blue-grey

then gone

And I felt their pull, every time the wave retreated

come with me

stay with me

An empty friend playing a trick

And eyes straining against the blackness

marvelling at the bleak beauty of it

thinking, does nobody else see this?

See it how I do?

And underneath the whoosh of the wave

I heard your voice calling me

I felt your breath

so far away I would have to stretch across oceans for you

So I packed up that yearning

put in a box with all my questions I had

looked back to the sea one more time

And saw the sea reply

it knew I would be back

I would always be back

Would you?